So, i went to LA recently and had the kinkiest most wonderful time of my life and then i came home and my kink filled life here seemed awfully vanilla. And i got depressed, and agitated, and annoyed. And i have realized that when my life is not a constant hurricane of cocks and cum and kink and sex then i start overthinking and i start listening to these voices from my old life that i usually brush off. And these voices aid in my frustration, and then i take that anger and misplace it on those who don’t deserve it. And this is not good slave mannerisms. This is not who i want to be. But today i realized something….if you want to be degraded and used by men, you have to let them know. If you want to live a kinky life, you have to go out and find that kink. Humans are so simple, and most of them, almost all the time, want to cum. Being a fucktoy, or discovering any kink, is as easy as you let it. But you have to tell the people in your life. Nobody can read your mind. You have to tell the people that you want to fuck that you want to fuck them, they can’t just figure it out by you thinking really hard in their direction. You have to get out there and experience it. i mean, if what you’re after is to be the kind of woman (or man) who fucks anybody who wants to fuck her, you kind of have to fuck anyone who wants to fuck you. Do it for the fun of it, for the experience, whatever. Don’t take everything so seriously all the time. This is a lesson that i keep forgetting i have already learned; sex doesn’t have to be so serious all of the time.
i remember when i first started to explore my kink and look into becoming more sexually adventures, when i first started working and communicating with guys about meeting up and playing. And most of the guys assumed i was a man, or a liar, or trying to trick them into something, some just wanted to talk without ever meeting up, some were freaked out when they realized i was serious. Some were mean and made fun of me. But some of them took me up on it. Some of the sex felt good and some of it hurt and some of it was boring. Some was uncomfortable or awkward. Some of it was weird. Some of the guys were actually dominant and some were just pretending and some were just trying it out to see if they liked it. Some of them were big, some were small. Some of them smelled bad and some of them were delicious. None of that was the point, though. The point was that i wanted to explore different sexual scenes and play with other people, i wanted to become someone for men to use, so i went out and became one. It didn’t just come to me. And i forget that if i tell men that i want to be a fucktoy then i will get used like such, it’s that simple. But they can’t read my mind. And i forgot how easy this was, i forgot how fulfilling it was. i forgot how much i love and thrive in this lifestyle. And so i stopped for a little, without realizing it i was getting frustrated at the fact that i wasn’t being used when i was the one preventing myself from being used. Because of these stupid voices.
So, this is for all those fuckhole wanna be wonderful fantastic sluts out there, or really for anyone who is on the fence about exploring a certain kink of theirs….there are a lot of messages women get in this world trying to scare them away from going after what they want sexually. Most women are shamed for even trying to figure out what they enjoy, whether or not they even do anything about it. The idea that you can just go out and ask for what you want is something the whole world doesn’t want you to know. But the truth is, you can do what you want. You can go after your fantasies. You can be called a slut or a whore and take pride in it. You can get off on misogyny and still be a decent human being. It won’t be perfect every time and that’s okay. Maybe you’ll regret it, but so what? You regretted trying to dye your hair ash blonde, too, but regret’s not going to kill you. Maybe some guy will hurt you, oh, they tell you that all the time. Don’t you dare meet up with a man you meet on the evil internet or he’ll rape and murder you. Mostly, no, he won’t. Mostly, the guys you meet will just be average guys who are horny or lonely or curious. Mostly the guys you meet won’t be right for you, or you won’t be right for them. So what? If you want to get fucked, go out and get fucked. It’s not the end of the world. You can have no strings attached sex and the world won’t end. You can go out and explicitly look for men to treat you like you’re worthless, and you can wake up the next morning with your self esteem intact. That’s allowed to happen.
Today i finally remembered, if you want to be a fucktoy, you have to go out and be a fucktoy. If you want to be dominated, you have to go out and meet dominants. If you want to play with feet, you have to go out and find feet. Whatever your kink is, you’ve got to go discover it. It’s not going to fall into your lap. The next time some guy asks if you want to go back to his place, say yes. The next time some guy wants to touch your boobs, let him. Nothing will happen to you except for how you’ll have just gotten your boobs touched. Encourage the men who get an intrigued spark in their eye and ask, “Um…how rough are you talking, exactly?” You’re allowed to tell him, and you’re allowed to let him use you. And more importantly, you’re allowed to like it. Just do it. Do what you want. Be what feels right for you. You have the right to explore.
** this is taken off of my Fetlife profile, but is tamed down a bit for vanilla followers. To read the full version just visit my profile**