Hookers don’t need saving: a rant.

oh lordy.

Today we’re going to talk about misogyny. Well, more broadly we’re going to talk about this fucking idea society carries that women who sell their bodies for sex need saving, but if you can’t see how saturated that idea is with misogyny than you’re in denial. Tonight I had a party with this guy who was so fucking hot, the whole time we stood in line up I was just hoping he would pick me, and he did! We had a drink, flirted, negotiated, and then had some really hot sex – really fucking hot. It was his third time at the Ranch, he comes whenever he gets in a big fight with his wife and she kicks him out, but even still this beautiful being had the nerve to judge me. He’s in an unhappy marriage, stuck in a heteronormative boring ass life, and yet he had the gull to tell me that I was too good for this place and could do better.

God. If you guys knew how often us girls hear this bullshit. I have a friend who has a client that no lie, set up a safeword for her that she can send him when she’s ready to be “saved from this place.” Guys (and couples) come in here, they pay us and fuck us, and then they turn around and tell us that we need saving or that we can do better….like, I’m sorry, but who the fuck are you?! For this man to pay me for sex, fuck me, enjoy himself and get off, and then turn around and judge what I do, suggests that he is somehow morally superior to me even though we both actively consented to the same activity. HOW FUCKING MISOGYNISTIC CAN YOU BE?!

This viewpoint is solidly rooted in an archaic and sexist view of women as particularly fragile and vulnerable beings, but we’re not. There is this bullshit popular belief, which is vigorously perpetuated by anti-sex feminists, conservative Christians, and ignorant fucks that sex work is intrinsically harmful, and therefore the (ADULT)  women who participate in it need to be “protected” by our choices. But the same thing was once believed about homosexuality; it was said to lead to violence, drug use, disease, and mental illness. As we now know, these problems were not caused by homosexuality itself; they were the result of legal oppression and social stigma, and once those harmful factors were removed the associated “problems” vanished as well. Women who choose to fuck for money do not need your misogynistic puritan ass to come and save them, we need your respect.

Prostitution allows us a way to safely explore our sexual desires in ways that we can’t through the current social norms of heterosexual, monogamous relationships. Which I know is terrifying to men who are desperately clutching at the old-fashioned idea that women should depend on them and them alone to satisfy her needs, but it’s about time that they get the fuck over it. It also gives a lot of us who have yet to achieve a college degree the opportunity to earn more money than most people who do possess one make. The girls here at the Ranch make an upwards of 6 figures a year, consistently. Hookers are not feeble, innocent women being exploited – we’re students paying for school without needing loans, we’re single mothers raising our children without the burden of financial stress, we’re partners helping to make ends meet so that we can live comfortably, we’re sluts who want to relish in the power of our unbridled sexuality – we’re capable and intelligent and sick of your fucking ignorance.

The right to control our sexuality is as essential to feminism (and humanity) as the right to control our reproduction is, and yet just like with birth control, society (aka men) think they’re entitled to have a say in what that looks like. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM OUR BODIES…IT’S OUR OWN DAMN CHOICE! This idea that women can’t willingly and powerfully choose prostitution derives from the idea that a woman shouldn’t have control over her own body, and that consequently labels women as second-class citizens and places them under the control of men. So, ironically (I hope, I always use this word wrong), these men coming in here and hiring us and then telling us we need saved are the ones that are degrading and oppressing us…not the job itself.

In other “normal” fields of work many workers earn their living by exerting a strong aspect of their personality. Managers are paid for their leadership abilities, teachers for their patience, and waiters for their extroversion. Why, then, is it wrong for a prostitute to profit from her sexuality?  Maybe it’s because society (aka men) are fucking terrified that if women realize that we have autonomy and control over our sexuality we wouldn’t need to depend on them anymore. Workers in any entertainment field, such as stage actors, dancers, or comedians, are paid for their actual labor…same with prostitution. We’re entertainers who are being paid for our labor. The root of each type of work is essentially the same: to provide a pleasurable experience for a customer. Ours is just more fun. There is absolutely no reason why sexual commerce should not be viewed and treated like other form of entertainment work. What makes it different from other work is the stigma attached to it, and a set of stereotypes and assumptions about the girls working and their conditions. “Sex work is work”- that’s not some radical statement, it’s a fact. Sex work is not a crime, nor a scam, nor a lazy way to get by, nor a form of oppression. It is a personal service, akin to massage, or nursing, or counseling, and should be treated as such.

Straight up this is the stitch for prostitution: many of the assumptions and public policies regarding it are based on either folk wisdom or ignorance or some bullshit religious morality, and furthermore, are blatantly gender-biased. Society is obsessed with controlling women’s bodies – women who are denied individual agency and respect for their decisions and depicted as passive victims are more easily controlled and contained. But fuck you, we deserve the right to choose, and we deserve to have that choice respected. It’s like Salt-n-Peppa said, “If she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend, it’s none of your damn business.” When will society learn that they don’t have the right to dictate what a woman does with her body? A woman should be able to decide that she wants to sell her fucking pussy and not have to deal with the bullshit of being chastised by an immoral society that clings to the false pretense of puritan ideals that dictate what is “moral.”

I am a fucking whore, in every sense of the word. I get off on selling my body for money. I love to fuck, and be fucked, and be around others who are fucking. I’m also intelligent, and emotionally stable, and confident, and empowered, and loved, and worthy, and so fucking sick and tired of being told that I need saving. Especially by those who hire me to fuck them because they’re miserable with their heteronormative, vanilla, status-quo life. Grow the fuck up.